So my husband is now in his second semester of PhD school at George Mason for Electrical and Computer Engineering. Last semester was interesting! We both were in graduate school at the same time previously, but we were in different states. I was in Maryland at the University of Maryland and Joe was down in Clemson. GO CLEMSON... beat Maryland. (You can see where my allegiance is). So when we were in grad school, we did our work and would see each other every month or two so when we saw each other it was like a mini break. Well now, we are both working full time, have a mortgage/bills, each other, and a puppy to worry about.
While I was mentally ready for Joe to go back to school because I worked full time while I was in grad school. (Joe was fortunate to have an teaching assistantship on campus- so he did not have to take on an addition job while in grad school.) I knew it was going to be hard- and I was ready.
During Joe's first semester, we learned a lot about the way we communicate and how to communicate better and make more of our time together. Below are a couple things that we found helped us as a couple:
1) Set schedule- by this I mean....Ok every Sunday is Joe's studying day so we never ever plan anything for Sunday unless it is something really important. Every Sunday night we have an early dinner at home so Joe can get back to studying/homework. At Sunday dinners we take that time to discuss up coming things for next week. Joe always takes Saturday nights off and Friday nights (unless studying for midterm/final).
2) Making a dinner menu for the week. We started doing this on Sundays to help plan on grocery store trips (to help decrease them) and also for the person who arrives home first to start working on dinner. Also in our endeavors to help decrease the number of times we eat out.
This weeks included:
Sunday - Mini Sliders with Green Beans
Monday Homemade Left Over Soup and Bread
Tuesday Breakfast for dinner- Grits, Eggs, and Toast
Wednesday- Pizza
Thursday- Scallops and Coucous.
Friday - ????
Saturday- Date Night
Joe actually loves making the menu with me. When he is in school we have nights that say "On your Own," which will be Monday and Wednesday because those are the nights he has classes. He usually comes home early (before I get home to eat) or eats after class. We also have a date night each week when we normally eat out- this can be anything from a little meal at Chiptole to eating out at a nice restaurant.
Sample of our menu next week:
Sunday: Salmon with Couscous and Broccoli
Monday: On Your Own
Tuesday: Chicken and Rice
Wednesday: On Your Own
Thursday: Pesto Pasta with veggie
Friday: Date Night
Saturday: Scallops with Risotto and Green Beans (We are having company over)
3) The third thing we found helpful as a couple is for me each week to take 5 minutes and email Joe at work our weekly schedule. I often leave for work at 5 in the morning before he gets up, and he takes night classes so I am in bed by the time he gets home. We found that this is a good way to communicate when we can not talk or see each other. (Especially since Joe does not have access to gmail calendar at work, a cell phone available at work, etc....)
It helps remind us what each of us is in-charge of, what we need to get done this week, etc.
So a sample of next week: (Very mild week)
1/31 Monday- I am working. Class for Joe 7:30-10
2/2 Wednesday Class for Joe 4:30-7:30
2/3 Thursday Trash/Recycling out
2/4 Friday Take Clemson to Puppy Camp
2/5 Saturday Spinning Class for Laura at 10:30 am, Company over for dinner at 6pm
2/6 Sunday Superbowl Party with A& A - Need to bring something.
I also normally include in the email any financial stuff, or up coming things that I am dealing with, or when I am doing laundry (so he knows his clothes need to be downstairs), etc. This weeks including scheduling appointments for my tires to be changed and Taxes related info.
Some weeks we have more, some weeks we have less.
4) Not planning to many events. So before Joe went back to school we did something normally Friday night, Saturday night, and also Sundays with friends or family. We found we should only plan 1 to possibly 2 small things each week to give Joe more time to study/homework and also give us time for us. I often go do things with my girlfriends or family or run while Joe is studying.
Like this upcoming weekend- We are having dinner with Family at our House on Saturday and then going to a Superbowl party with friends on Sunday evening- giving Joe all day Saturday and Sunday to study if need be.
5) Dividing up tasks- so this is not only important because Joe is in school but also important in a marriage. I think it is important not to get stuck in gender roles in a marriage... ie Women do womens work and Men do Mens work. So below are our task and how they are divided (these are things we do each week or every other week).
Me
Sweeping the floors (every Sunday)
Wipedown Kitchen
Paying Bills/Finances
Dusting (ever two weeks)
Grocery Shopping
Husband
Vacuum Carpet (every Sunday)
Trash/Recycling (Sunday & Wednesday nights)
Bathrooms ( Once a month)
Waling Clemson
Emptying Dishwasher
This is just to give you an idea....
Any other suggestions....
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