Monday, June 16, 2014

Taking the good... and the ugly

Tonight as I sit in bed reflecting how awesome my day was with Collin,
I mumbled the words "I could be a stay at home mom."

It was a REALLY GOOD DAY.
By really good, I mean no breaking down, no biting (more to come on this), snuggling during reading time, being verbal and dancing as crazy,  having a nice mommy and Collin date at the pool followed by Wegmans for lunch, followed by naps for both of us, and then again some quality time tonight.  
He pretty much listened when I asked him to do things such as sit down for his snack, or when I told him we could not go outside unless he put his toys away.  I totally love that he is learning the true art of cleaning up.  

Today was a good day-  I am lucky that for the most part I have good days, not really good days like today but good days.  

Just when I think I have this mom thing down, he throws a curve ball or we have a not so good day.  
A day when he yells when I tell him we have to go inside because it is raining, or he does not want to put his shoes on to go outside but he wants to go outside, or worse he bites!

Yes, Collin is a biter.  
This is something that has been extremely hard for me to deal with because 

1) I know it is nothing we are doing
and
2) He is so young that has been really hard to "re-direct him."
He is only 15 months.  

This is our ugly..... our child bites.  
You may ask what we have done differently to help with this.  
Over the last three weeks we have attacked this problem head on because I refuse to have a child that bites!

So here is what I found useful....

1) Take advice.
Tammy- the director at the school had two kids who were biter's and gave me a bunch of advice

2) Watch your child
This has two parts. 

 First watch to see when they are biting and why?   
After watching Collin and talking with his teachers, we noticed he only would bite me and other girls.
Also, his biting had nothing to do with aggression or anger. 
Joe and I brainstormed and came to the conclusion that we think Collin is trying to "kiss" but instead he was biting.   So we have changed how we kiss him good night, etc.  

Second to prevent them from biting other children.
This is hard but to be honest most people understand as children go thru a biting phase because they are learning how to use their mouth.  

3) Constant reinforcement-  "Ouch Biting Hurts!!!" is now our phrase.
I went so far as to purchase a board book that reinforces this as well.  
(Which we read at least twice a day!_

4)Re-direction
When Collin would bite me at home, I would say "Ouch Biting Hurts," act like I am really hurt, and then ask him to go sit in his blue chair.  This first couple times this was hard, but it got easier.  
We have also been teaching to give "love" thru hugs and not biting and also using the word "gentle."

It has been a couple days since he hurt me by biting 
and last week I talked with his teachers and the biting is super improving.
Still a little to go, but maybe only once a week compared to a couple times a day.  


But I think what this has taught me is you have to take the good with the ugly...
Today was good, and I am taking that
and not trying to think about the ugly.